A Penguin's Life
by MoonHunter12
Summary: Apparently, you only live once, right? So hold on to those childhood memories of yours and live your adolescence to its fullest potential, because one day, it'll be gone. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my life broken up in one shots.
1. Because I Fell Down and Hit My Head!

**New project! Okay, let's see how this goes.**

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Four-year-old Astra stood in the third floor's hallway, waiting for the rest of her family to finish getting ready. She squirmed and fidgeted in her winter gear, feeling like she was being squeezed into a box. It didn't help that the staircase was pretty warm. Wearing two layers of pants, a thick jacket, a sweater, and a long-sleeved shirt while standing in the heat was pretty uncomfortable.

Astra knocked on the apartment door, not feeling embarrassed at all by the fact that she had closed the door on herself. "Are you ready yet?"

The door opened to reveal her annoying little sister, Nenji. Today, though, two-year-old Nenji looked like a giant orange. She was wearing a puffy, bright orange jacket and, because of how short she was, it almost covered her entire body. The differences between Nenji and an actual orange were the barely visible mane of black hair covered by a hat coming out the top and the purple pants barely poking out from the bottom.

"Not yet!" Astra's mother answered. There was a click as Nenji shut the door behind her, locking the two sisters out again, but neither seemed to notice. "Just wait a little bit longer."

Astra sighed and tried to lean over the railing, standing up on her tippy-toes. Unfortunately, she still wasn't tall enough even though she was four and just reached the top of the fencing.

_I wish I was taller,_ Astra thought to herself, recalling the time when her best friend came over and was triumphantly proclaimed as taller than her even though he was only several months older than her. _It's not fair!_

She retreated from the railing and waited sulkily by the door for her parents. Astra wasn't exactly sure where they were going, but it was most likely to play in the snow outside. That was the only explanation to the excessive amount of clothing she had on.

Suddenly, Nenji tripped over her own feet and tumbled down the seven stairs to the landing below. Fortunately, she wasn't a pinball and didn't bounce of the wall to tumble down the next set of stairs to the second floor.

_What just happened?_ Astra wondered, blinking at the giant puffball at the landing. Her innocent four-year-old mind couldn't comprehend the sudden actions until years later, when she would be telling the story to her friends.

"Oh my gosh!" Astra's mother exclaimed, rushing down the steps to Nenji. Astra's father hastily bustled out the apartment door as well, his coat half-on. "What happened?"

Astra didn't understand what all the fuss about. Nenji was completely fine. Her sister sat up by herself, staring at their mother in confusion, as if to ask, _When did you get here? _There was nothing physically wrong with her, so why were their parents so worked up?

_Present Day_

Astra regretted repeating the story from years ago. Nenji was using it as a _Get Out of Jail Free_ card.

Astra had finished her homework, another book on her Kindle, and was even bored enough to _study_, so she was forced to abandon her room and find entertainment with the rest of her family, which currently included her mom and sister. Her dad had gone out for the night, meaning that there was a less likely chance of Astra and another family member engaging in battle (she was pretending that Nenji wasn't part of her family).

Astra's mom was talking on the phone with someone, recounting baby stories of each of their children. She hung up and Astra said, "You should have told whoever it was about the falling-down-the-stairs incident."

"_You_ fell down the stairs?" Nenji asked, laughing obnoxiously. "How clumsy are you?"

"Actually, _you_ fell down the stairs," Astra corrected. To Nenji's dismay, their mother nodded in agreement. Astra retold the story and got everyone, especially Nenji, cracking up.

"Go do your chores," Astra's mom suddenly ordered, turning on the computer to read World Journal or something of the sort.

Astra grumbled rude comments about the dishes as she reluctantly got up and went to the kitchen. Nenji, however, was trying to avoid throwing out the garbage at night.

"I'm scared!" Nenji claimed. Astra believed that because it was partially her fault. She would jump out and shout, "BOO!" at her sister every time she came out of the bathroom, resulting in screaming. When Nenji was in bed and Astra was heading to her room, she would whisper creepily, "Slenderman's going to come get you."

Basically, Astra indirectly retriggered her sister's fear of the dark by scaring her for her own amusement.

"There's nothing to be scared of," their mom replied, not letting her younger daughter get off that easily. "Go throw out the garbage."

"I can't," Nenji said bluntly. This was new. "I fell down and hit my head when I was two."

Astra slapped her forehead, not caring that her flipper was soapy. Seriously? That was the excuse?

This wasn't a one time thing, though.

"Why'd you get an eighty-nine on your test?" Astra's mom demanded weeks later.

"Because I fell down and hit my head!" Nenji answered. Both parents burst out laughing. Astra stared in disbelief. Every time she got below a hundred, her parents would ask, "Why didn't you get a hundred?" Nenji, though, got off scot-free with an eighty-nine.

"Why didn't you start your project earlier?" Astra questioned sometime later, voicing what was on the entire family's mind as she watched her sister rush madly on Sunday night to complete a math project. It was already eight o'clock.

"Because I fell down and hit my head," Nenji replied hastily. Astra's mom cracked a smile and decided to help Nenji finish the project.

"How did you forget your phone on the counter?" their mom asked, furious at Nenji for almost abandoning her cell phone at some clothing shop.

"Because I fell down and hit my head!" Nenji claimed.

"That doesn't even make sense!" Astra yelled, infuriated that her mother was laughing. She once thought she had lost her phone but Nenji had taken it, which somehow was pinned against Astra.

"I still fell down and hit my head!" her sister argued.

And that became Nenji's excuse for everything.


	2. Things to Never Do with Friends

Astra loved her friends. She really did. But her ongoing list of "things to never do with friends" was getting way too long.

First, there was Mena. Mena was awesome. Everyone loved her because she could always make you feel better and conversations with her always turned out stupid but funny. She likely inherited the trait from her mother, who was basically the older version of her. However, Astra decided that she would never play any sport competitively with Mena.

Every time they played soccer in gym class, Mena would go from "stable" to "extremely hyperactive and competitive." She would immediately run towards the ball, screaming at the other players, "No, don't get the ball! It's mine!" or "I want the ball!" or even the most simple one "Get out of the way!" These phrases were even shouted at her own teammates because she got confused as to who was and wasn't on her team.

And then when the gym teacher gave them a free period to play basketball or sit on the benches, Astra, Mena, and their group of friends would divide into two teams to play. The problem was that every time Mena got her hands on the ball, she would travel by running around in a circle, laughing manically and taunting the opposing team. Every time she didn't get it in the hoop, Mena would, by any means necessary, grab the ball and shoot over and over until it went in. Astra almost always ended up on the opposite team as Mena and would somehow get hurt by the latter when they fought for the ball, such as being elbowed in the windpipe.

The only person who could stop Mena's hysteria was the extremely tall Athena, who blocked the ball when Mena shot it. An odd number of players didn't even matter anymore. Every time the group played without Athena, the team opposing Mena would get the extra player.

Second was Narnia, who Astra decided to never go to the movies with. Mena had invited a small gathering of her closest friends to her house for her birthday, and the group ended up going to the theater to watch _Endless Love_, out of all things. Astra ended up between Chris and Narnia, stuck watching the romantic comedy.

Roughly seventy-five percent through the movie, the female protagonist's mansion catches on fire. Her dad runs back into the house to collect his deceased son's possessions, desperately trying to salvage any memories of his favorite child. As soon as the scene started, Narnia began yelling at the characters' actions.

"Don't run back into the fire, don't run—and you run back into the fire like an idiot," Narnia shouted at the dad. "Are you trying to get yourself killed? What's wrong with you?"

A group of spectators magically appeared and then the girl's boyfriend runs into the fire to rescue the dad, prompting the girl to scream and Narnia to exclaim, "Are you _crazy?_ Why would you run into a burning building? And why are you _screaming?_ In fact, why aren't any of you _doing_ anything but watching the fire? The very least you could do is call 911!"

That being said, Astra mentally noted never to go to the movies with any of her friends. If Narnia, the usually level-headed one, would snap and start yelling at the characters because of a stupid romance movie, what would Mena do?

Third was Vladimir, who Astra decided to never talk to about schoolwork or anything related to it in general. She could ask what he got on a certain question of a test so she could find her mistake, and it would turn into his life story of "outstanding grades." He would ramble on and on and on about how he got the question right, then about the fact that he got a hundred on the test, then it turned into him getting side-tracked by talking about his academic life story.

Astra: "Hey, what'd you get on question twenty-three?"

Vladimir: "It's A. How did you get that one wrong? It's so easy and..." (rambling). "What'd you get on the test? I got a hundred. I already know all this stuff because I took prep classes and my teachers taught us this even though it wasn't our grade level. Even when I just learned it I got every question right and..." (_God, I swear that I won't do anything bad ever again if you get him to shut up,_ Astra prayed). "Oh yeah, did you ever get lower than a ninety-seven on a test? (_An eighty-three, and that's considered normal since honors has an advance curriculum,_ Astra sulked, knowing what was coming next). In science, I didn't put the gland where [insert one of the following: glucagon and insulin, adrenaline, thyroxin, or parathormone]* was secreted and I got one point taken off. One point, and I got a ninety-six! It was only one point and besides, I already know where it's secreted, or else I wouldn't have been able to answer the other questions on the test. That's not fair! The only grade I've ever gotten lower than that was in sixth grade because it was a pop quiz, so that wasn't fair either. Even in third grade I had memorized the times table and knew how to do long division [_My Asian parents made me learn that in first and second grade, so ha_, Astra thought]. Why are teachers giving me such low grades now even though I didn't get the question wrong? They should've made the question clearer and..."

Astra: (interrupts) "How did you get A for twenty-three, though?" [_You still didn't explain, and your life story isn't helping_]

Vladimir: "Shouldn't you already know how? I already told you the answer, and you're supposed to be one of the smartest people in class [_I should not have said anything_]...In my prep classes, we learned this in sixth grade and before I quit, we already learned quadratics and linear inequalities and..."

**Warning: The implications made were what my friend actually said, so please turn away if you don't like inappropriate humor**

Fourth was Sheller, who Astra decided to never listen to when an innocent comment is turned inappropriate.

When the class came back from a field trip, eighth period was already underway, so there was no point in going to their eighth period class. Astra had already chased after Sheller immediately when he stole her beanie, but then his best friend Al asked them, "Do we still have to go to math?"

"You can go if you want to because we all know how much you_ love_ solving systems of equations," Astra drawled sarcastically, snatching her hat back from Sheller.

"Yeah Al," Sheller jumped in quickly. "Every day after school, you would go to Ms. North's house to...do math!" _Oh no,_ Astra thought to herself.

"And then after you do some math, you guys have...dinner together," he continued, the implications behind the pauses as clear as day.

Al had figured that out already, but asked anyways, "Isn't she married? She's married right?" Astra nodded in agreement and added, "She mentioned that she had at least one daughter."

Sheller shrugged, not really caring. "And then after eating dinner, you guys have...dessert."

"What does she make for dessert, Al?" Astra joked. Al started listing random desserts and threw in "pancakes" for some reason.

Sheller picked up from where he left off in the story. "After you guys finish dessert, you have—"

"Sheller, shut up," Astra interrupted, not letting him finish the sentence. He laughed, obviously expecting that reaction. "Al, why do you let him tell you this?"

"Because I'm just as messed up as he is," Al replied, grinning proudly.

Astra made sure to add "never talk to Al when Sheller's with him" to her list.

* * *

***The gland and substances being referred to are parts of the endocrine system**


	3. Call of Dying Every 3 Seconds

Astra turned on her Wii (unfortunately, she didn't have an Xbox or PlayStation) and looked through her games, deciding that she wouldn't be playing _Super Smash Brothers Brawl_ today. Besides, her idiotic sister Nenji saved over Astra's account in Adventure mode the other day, therefore erasing all of Astra's hard work. Astra ended up going into "TIME TO DIE!" mode and would've murdered the child if their mom didn't swoop down on the fight.

_Stupid _Just Dance_ that Nenji plays, stupid _Just Dance 2_ that Nenji plays, stupid _Just Dance 3_ that Nenji plays, stupid _Paws and Claws: Pet Vet_ that Nenji plays—wait, why are they all Nenji's games?_ Astra wondered. _How come I never get any games I want to play? That's not fair! Why are my relatives so feminine? Even the dudes are a little bit or at least used to be in the past._

Pushing the thought out of her mind, Astra continued looking through the games. _Why do we have _Dora Saves the Snow Princess_? I'm not five! Which idiotic relative gave this to me? I won't have a criminal record if I go all "TIME TO DIE" mode on him or her._

As soon as she saw another _Just Dance_ game—this time it was _Just Dance Kids_—Astra planned on taking every Wii game in the apartment and breaking all of the discs in half before taking a hammer and smashing the halves into millions of tiny pieces. However, the box art on one of the disc cases caught her eye. It was much different from the other games, with a military style cover: dirt-faced soldiers carrying guns, a tank, a burning building, and two fighting planes in the distance were featured.

_Could it be?_ Astra thought immediately, shoving _Just Dance Kids_ back on the shelf hastily. She didn't care that the untouched game she never really noticed between all the stupid dancing games was at least five years old. _Is it really—? Yes! Finally, someone in the family has good gaming tastes! I'm sick of playing stupid_ Just Dance_ and_ Wii Sports_ all the time._

Eagerly, Astra drew out_ Call of Duty 3_. She had never played the game before even though it's been sitting around the apartment for years now. Well, there was one occasion she tried to play it with Nenji (when the dork used to respect her older sister), but the game ended up crashing. After that, Astra had a feeling that her parents didn't want her to be playing a first person shooting game so she didn't touch it.

Now, though, she was much more interested in these sorts of things and popped the disc in immediately. Most people she knew played Call of Duty on an Xbox or PlayStation, but Astra didn't care. If she had a Wii edition, she'll play it on her Wii.

"What's this, a history lesson?" Nenji snickered, walking into the living room to see an animation play. Their mother was seated at her computer, oblivious to the potential outburst between her daughters. "Why are you so obsessed with school?"

"Says the girl who can't even divide fractions," Astra snapped back, preparing for the game. Nenji let out exclamations of protests, but Astra just threw a sock in all its feet sweat smelling glory at her younger sibling.

The game started out well, but Astra thought that it was ridiculous that her first assignment was to get on a military truck to find some doughnuts. Seriously, were these American troops _trying_ to attract attention from the Nazis in France? Whoever made the game must really be an idiot. What leader would send his men to risk their lives for a couple measly chunks of fried bread? They might as well do that with the flour rations they have.

Actually, the truck ended up being shot or something because the next thing Astra knew, she was thrown into combat. Astra had to repeat a stage seven million times because she didn't understand that she was supposed to start running as soon as she got over the stone wall to avoid getting shot. That was only the first time. Each time after that, text would appear to tell her to pick up a grenade on the ground (why soldiers on either side just left a bunch of undetonated grenades for anyone to use against their enemy, Astra had no idea). However, she also didn't know that she had to throw the grenade immediately after she grabbed it because it was automatically activated, meaning that it blew up in her hand and she died.

The next problem was that she had no idea what the heck she was supposed to be shooting or throwing grenades at. The building she was invading—a _church_ out of all places. Why did people pick churches to burn down or destroy even though nothing would be gained?—was apparently "swarming" with enemy soldiers, but most of them were hiding somewhere throughout the building, which she had to shoot at from a distance or end up dying as soon as she ran towards it (something she learned the hard way). Astra couldn't see any soldiers hovering at windows or entrances and ended up shooting randomly at wherever flashes of guns were coming from.

_"What is this sorcery?"_ Astra yelled at the television when the scene started fading, indicating that she had to start over from the checkpoint again. Nenji laughed at her defeat, but Astra was so confused and angry. She didn't pick up a flipping grenade from the ground despite the game's advice, take one from her own supply, or run out in the open to only get shot, so why did she have to redo all her work?

The text explaining why she had to start over appeared, and Astra nearly hurled her Wii remote and nunchuck at the window, not caring that her mom would've gone into "TIME TO DIE" mode at the sight of the broken glass. According to the game, Astra had accidentally shot at a soldier on her side even though she didn't know who the heck it was, and friendly fire, apparently, wouldn't be tolerated.

_Okay, (a) in a real battle, this stuff happens all the time, (b) how was I supposed to know he was on my side, and (c) how did they pinpoint _me_ out of the other seven hundred soldiers?_ Astra sulked as she started over from the checkpoint. _I hate video game logic._

This time, Astra made sure she didn't shoot anyone on her side (it turned out that when you scroll over a soldier on your side, his rank and name is displayed in green, but it doesn't happen with the opponents) or stupidly stand in the open too long (she finally mastered the art of crouching behind a wall and then shooting at...unseen targets), but then the text told her to click a button to pick up a weapon.

Unfortunately, Astra didn't notice that the weapon was a grenade. And then that grenade blew up and killed her. Meaning that she had to start over from the checkpoint_ again._

The only encouragement Astra's kind, _supportive_ mother offered was laughter at her daughter's failure.

* * *

**Moral: _Don't_ play Call of Duty seriously with me (Also, I don't own COD)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the cover. Lake Blue drew it for fun, sent it to a group of friends, and I decided to use it, but she's complaining that the dimensions are wrong XP**


	4. How to Annoy the Heck Out of Penguins

For once, Astra had a decent idea for one of the five mandatory writing prompts she had to do.

_32. Create a how-to manual for something you can do well. Describe the process so that someone else could complete the task based on your directions. Use present tense verbs._

Astra picked up her pencil and started writing.

**How to Annoy the Heck Out of Penguins**

_So you want to know how to annoy penguins from strangers to best friends to your very own mother? Well, read on!_

1) Remember that annoying penguins is an art that must be perfected. Start with the basics first as if you were just beginning to learn how to play a guitar (and so it's less likely for you to be hated on). Observe your target(s) to identify what they would consider pesky before leaping into action. Hastiness either gets you blank stares or creates an awkward situation (because the penguin did not understand that they were supposed to be annoyed).

2) Annoying penguins is all about timing. Carefully observe their body language. Are they in a whimsical state that is impossible to disturb? Are they aggravated and frustrated at something? Is the penguin crying over something? Or are they simply neutral to all emotions? The best time to annoy someone is when the penguin is acting like the latter. You will enjoy the annoyed feeling the penguin gives off when you annoy him or her without risking injury, guilt, or absolutely nothing but saccharine happiness.

3) The environment is also a key factor. For instance, an elevator would be preferable because it is a cramped space, which adds to the awkwardness considering the tight, cramped space. If you have been educated in social etiquette (fancy word for manners), you should know that being in such a close proximity goes beyond the unspoken boundary between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. Combined with a naughty penguin, annoyance levels will reach the moon. However, a subway could be much more difficult considering how many rowdy penguins take public transport. Therefore, penguins usually find a way to ignore it (i.e. iPods, tablets, phones, etc.) or develop a high tolerance level.

4) Begin slowly. Mildly bug a penguin with subtle gestures based on observations or prior knowledge. For example, if you know that he/she gets easily annoyed simply by constant poking in the sides, poke every once in a while. Build up the annoyance level of each action (in this case, change your rate of poking from once every ten minutes to five minutes, and then every second by the end) and watch as the other person tries to contain his/her anger. It's much more amusing to test someone's patience, observing the annoyed energy course through his/her body.

5) An alternative method for penguins with high tolerance is to perform a variety of actions that would be rated high on the annoyance meter in their cases. If he/she gets annoyed when you constantly steal things, take whatever's in the penguin's flipper. Penguins usually get annoyed when you take an object they are using, such as their only pencil on an important test. Another way is to completely embarrass him/her in public over and over again. Eventually, the penguin will feel annoyed at you rather than embarrassed and possibly humiliate him/herself in public with an outburst, giving you bonus points!

In case of situations where you do not have the time (nor the patience) to follow the steps above, you may utilize the following tips.

-When someone asks you to do something, tell them "I'm busy _" (i.e. "I'm busy turning oxygen into carbon dioxide"), continuing to refuse to perform the task.

-Any time you are spoken to, ask "Why?" over and over again no matter what the other person says*

-On any means of public transport (subways/trains or buses), pretend to have a conversation with your invisible friend seated next to you. Whenever someone tries to sit where your invisible friend is "sitting," make a dramatic show of it and continue talking to your invisible friend as if nothing had happened.

-Badly sing the chorus of Aqua's "Barbie Girl," Justin Bieber's "Baby," One Direction's "What Makes You Beautiful," or any other bubblegum pop sounding songs that you know annoy nearly everyone in the world. Warning: If you are unsure whether the target(s) is a Belieber, Directioner, etc. sing the chorus of "Barbie Girl" (because pretty much everyone finds that song stupid).

Have fun! Try to avoid the consequences (crying seems to work best...unless it's YOUR MOM!)

* * *

***Inspired by Jessie9095**

**Heyhi! I'm really happy today because I got accepted to my top three schools, but the problem now is that I can't decide between them :P**

**Jessie9095, Lake Blue1, and Mewcat60 all worked really hard to do the same (Jessie got nearly eighty points higher than me, the freaking genius), so go congratulate them!**

**Good luck to all of you with your academic lives too!**


	5. The Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, and Santa

**This one shot is based more on several experiences, a conversation, and my friend's Christmas story combined. Still, I hope it takes you back to childhood memories.**

* * *

"I'm bored," Astra whined, turning away from the seven millionth level of System Defender. When she had complained about this earlier, PH seated her in front of the stimulation and she had been so determined to beat her record, but now she was just frustrated at the stupid game. "Can we do something? Like get a fireplace so we can roast marshmallows to make s'mores?"

"I already said no to that, Astra," the Director replied sternly, not looking up from her papers. Astra was stuck at the HQ because she was currently on probation. Let's just say that she had pulled a prank that involved stealing Rookie's propeller hat, Gary's favorite lab coat, Jet Pack Guy's ear piece, Dot's sunglasses, and PH's hat. And maybe Astra made it look like one of the mentioned agents had stolen a valued item from its respective co-worker. Everyone else was now on a bunch of dangerous, exciting mission while Astra and the Leads were sitting around in the HQ with nothing to do.

"Why don't you do your homework?" Gary suggested, fumbling with his newest invention. He had already burned several areas and a hole in the floor, but the penguin was still playing with the weapon like a toy. "Don't you have some video to watch?"

Astra scowled. "I 'watched' the video yesterday afternoon. There's a glitch. The screen is stuck on the first slide of the lesson, features only audio, and the homework question at the end is 'What did you have for dinner?' I wrote that I just ate breakfast."

Dot burst out laughing at that. Astra protested, "What? It's true! You all saw me eating a bowl of cereal while on my laptop. It's hard to miss my bedhead!"

"She is real!" a voice screeched. In walked an angry Rookie and an irritated Jet Pack Guy. "Don't lie to me! Just because you never got any presents or money doesn't mean that she isn't real! Maybe you were a bad penguin!"

Jet Pack Guy's feathers bristled. "I was not! Besides, I'm telling you the truth: she isn't real. You aren't five anymore—"

Astra snorted and interrupted him with "Good luck trying to convince Rookie of that."

"—so you should not be deluding yourself with childish stories," Jet Pack Guy finished, glaring at Astra for her comment and intervention.

"But you're _wrong!_" Rookie exclaimed, looking like he was close to tears despite his fury. Astra had no idea what the heck this argument was about, but this was pretty serious considering the fact that Rookie was usually the happy-go-lucky penguin. "You're wrong! _You're_ the one deluding yourself, _you're_ the one who's being childish, _you're_ the one—"

"Silence!" the Director shouted over Rookie's tantrum. Everyone obliged immediately. Even Gary set down his tools and ceased his tinkering for the moment. "Thank you. Now, Jet Pack Guy, Rookie, _kindly_ explain what this is about. We may be able to assist you in resolving the issue."

"Rookie's being delusional," Jet Pack Guy grumbled. _Yes, that _totally_ explained the problem,_ Astra thought to herself.

The green penguin's flippers were clenched into fists. His entire body was shaking from his webbed feet to the top of his propeller hat. Astra could've sworn the propellers spun a little. "Jet Pack Guy—Jet Pack Guy said that the Tooth Fairy isn't real! Tell him that he's wrong! Tell him already!"

Astra mentally face-flippered. Was this seriously what that whole tantrum was over? Whether the Tooth Fairy, a made up character, was real?

No one spoke, likely thinking what Astra was. Rookie finally looked up from the floor, flabbergasted at the lack of defense leaping to his side. "You mean—You mean that the Tooth Fairy isn't real?"

After what seemed like ages, Gary broke the silence with "Well..."

_"Mom!" Gary cried excitedly, rushing up to his mother. He couldn't understand it. Even after what his classmates said, Gary didn't believe that this was possible. He was a seven-year-old in the second grade who had read a thick encyclopedia, studied the dictionary, flipped through fourth grade science books, and leafed through hundreds and hundreds of tales about possibilities of parallel universes and scientists' theories on it. This didn't fit in the context of any of it. Fantasy creatures did not exist on Club Penguin. What sorcery was involved with this? Is this the end of the world?_

_"You were right mom!" Gary told her, opening up his cupped flippers to reveal twenty quarters. "The Tooth Fairy came! But how did she know that I lost a tooth?"_

_His mother smiled. "The Tooth Fairy is a magical being. She watches over all the good children in the world and when they lose their teeth, she decides to replace it with money. Isn't it wonderful?"_

_Gary's smile faded a bit as something hit him. "Wait a moment. Josh said that the Tooth Fairy takes the tooth and gives money instead, right?"_

_The older female penguin's grin waivered slightly. "Yes, that's right."_

_Gary reached into his pocket and pulled out a little plastic cube. Reality struck him, and he couldn't believe that his loving mother had lied to him. Gary was heartbroken, but shook the little see-through cube to produce a rattling noise. "Why was my tooth still under the pillow?"_

Astra couldn't help it. She cracked up, as well as the others except for Rookie, who was in shock, and Gary, who was grinning sheepishly. Even Jet Pack Guy and Aunt Arctic managed a chuckle. "Did you're mom really forget to take the tooth?" PH asked, taking in deep gulps of air to catch her breath.

"Yes," Gary answered. "But she's still the best mom in the world!" He looked at them all darkly, as if daring them to challenge the last statement.

Rookie groaned. "The Tooth Fairy is just my parents giving me money? The next thing you know, you'll be saying that the Easter Bunny doesn't exist."

"About that," Astra started. Rookie stared at her in dread.

_"What's the Easter Bunny?" Astra asked her friends, staring at them in confusion._

_They looked at her, bewildered. "How do you not know what the Easter Bunny is?" one of them demanded._

_"Yeah," a second agreed. "The Easter Bunny is like Santa Claus. He brings eggs, chocolate, and even toys the night before Easter to children's homes, but the Easter Bunny hides the eggs outside for you to find. Sometimes, there are treats inside the eggs!"_

_Astra blinked. She didn't believe in Santa Claus either, after a certain incident back in December. "Are the eggs painted, by any chance? And is the chocolate shaped like a bunny and the toys are eggs, chicks, or bunnies?"_

_Her friends nodded, so Astra continued. "But two years ago on Easter, my friend and I painted some eggs because the 'Easter Bunny' never came. My church also gives out eggs with designs on them. And the eggs with the treats inside are plastic ones made by companies. Companies also make the chocolate and toys. I think your parents just buy all of that for you. Wait, isn't Easter a Christian holiday?" Astra was only nine, but she knew that Easter was important to her religion because aside from Christmas, it was the only time she had to go to an extra long service. "I don't think the Bible says anything about an Easter Bunny."_

_In the end, Astra was yelled at by her parents for ruining her friends' Easter._

Rookie wailed whereas the others were laughing too hard at how Astra ruined Easter. "The Easter Bunny isn't real either? Have you all been buying me those eggs, chocolate, and toys this whole time?"

"You're such a great friend," Jet Pack Guy drawled sarcastically, his beak curled up in a smile. The Director shook her head despite the quiet laughter coming from her mouth.

"What are you going to ruin next?" Dot teased, swiping blonde hair out of her eyes.

"Yeah, what will you ruin next?" Rookie challenged angrily. Fire was visible in his eyes. "What, is Santa Claus also my parents?"

"Actually," Dot began, cutting off her own laughter. Rookie's beak dropped open.

_"Santa's going to love these cookies!" Dot declared, watching her mother pull out a tray of freshly baked cookies out of the oven. She had made the sugar cookies all by herself (okay, so there was a little bit of help from her mom and dad, but they only did the adult stuff). Dot's mother smiled at her as Dot carefully poured Santa a glass of milk._

_"Yes he will," her mom agreed, sliding the cookies onto a plate. Dot walked slowly to the table in order to prevent any spills or drop any cookies._

_"Ooh, cookies!" Dot's father exclaimed, rushing over from the couch as soon as he saw his daughter set down Santa's treats._

_"Not for you!" Dot protested, blocking her dad's way. "They're for Santa to thank him for giving presents! Daddy, are you sure that Santa got my letter?"_

_Dot's father nodded and he easily fibbed, "I called Santa yesterday to ask him. He promised that he would try to get you that gift, but if he couldn't, he'll get you a better one."_

_Dot nodded, satisfied. Then, she yawned. Her parents made her go to bed even though she wanted to meet Santa, but eventually, fatigue took over and she drifted off to sleep immediately._

_Several hours later, Dot wake up suddenly. She heard footsteps outside and thought to herself excitedly, _Santa's here!

_Dot climbed out of bed silently, careful not to disturb the rest of her family or Santa. She fell to her hands and knees and crawled out into the living room, only to be shocked by the sight._

_Standing at the table and eating the cookies Dot had made by herself while chugging down the glass of milk was her father._

The HQ erupted in laughter, shaking the ground at Dot's story.

Rookie, meanwhile, slumped down against the wall, muttering, "My life is over."


	6. Confessions: Operation Tea

**Note: The following activities did not occur in present day time, but when I was a little kid.**

**Roles: Astra as myself, Rookie as my younger sister, and Gary as my mom**

* * *

"Would you like some more tea?" Rookie asked, holding up the tiniest tea pot Astra had ever seen. Then again, it wasn't exactly made for the purpose of filling up with tea.

"No," Astra grumbled, refusing to pick up any of the little plates or cups Rookie had set up. Who knew that prohibition would boil down to this? "Can we stop playing? This is way too childish and girly, even for you."

Rookie made his tantrum face. "You're not even playing! Anyways, why wouldn't you want to play? Having a tea party is the best thing ever!"

"But where's the food?" Astra challenged, her stomach begging her to eat something even though she just had lunch roughly an hour ago. "There isn't even tea! Why would you call this a tea party if (a) it isn't even a party and (b) _there's no freaking tea!_ There's no point in this and it's boring!"

"You're supposed to use your imagination!" Rookie argued, setting the tea pot down. Astra made a mental note to throw out the tea set the Director had agreed to buy for Rookie. "That's the whole point of playing games: using the creativity that _you_ don't have!"

"Can we at least get some real tea or even juice?" Astra whined, tempted to clear the table of the ceramic cups and plates. Then again, she would end up having to sweep up the pieces. "I'm thirsty. Would you like to see me die from dehydration?"

Rookie frowned. "Well, I don't think we have tea or juice, but there is water..." Astra jumped up to go grab some, but Rookie then shrieked, "No! Water doesn't look like tea at all! We can't use that!"

"But air doesn't look like tea either!" Astra groaned, grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator. She chugged down half of it before recapping it. "Can we at least use some sort of material that would jazz up this tea party a little? I'm willing to deal with fake food and fake tea."

Gary suddenly appeared out of nowhere and slammed his flippers against the table. The dishes rattled as the cups clinked against the table, but the oddest thing was the orange-haired doll the scientist was clutching. "Please take care of this doll for me," he said, placing it gently on the table. "I need to complete some work but my Puffle thinks the doll is food."

Before either Rookie or Astra could react, Gary had already waddled over to the latest invention he was working on, murmuring random formulas and engineering facts.

"Hey, I have an idea," Astra announced, eyeing the weird doll she and Rookie were supposed to be babysitting. It was a peach-colored penguin wearing a dress that little girls would wear in the spring or summer with beady black eyes, a stitched-on smile and nose, something on its head that was a cross between a hat and a bonnet, and orange yarn for hair in two pigtails. She imagined (for once) a certain color as tea to see if it would look realistic. "Yeah, it'll work. Rookie, go get a pair of scissors."

The only scissors Rookie could find were safety ones that took five hours to make one snip in a piece of paper. Astra wanted a pair of regular scissors instead to finish the job quicker, but Rookie refused, claiming that someone would get hurt. In the end, because Astra was too lazy to go get actual scissors from the store, she was forced to use the stupid safety scissors.

"Make sure no one sees," Astra warned, taking the safety scissors in one flipper and the doll in another (Has anyone wondered how penguins would use scissors?). She began snipping bits and pieces of the target area, spending five minutes on just one piece because the scissor wouldn't cut and Rookie was always whispering, "Hide!" even when they weren't in danger of being caught.

"I'm done!" Astra hissed to Rookie. He snatched the doll away and placed it back on the table where it had been before.

Gary left with the doll hours later without noticing anything.

* * *

_Fast Forward Seven Years_

"Hey Gary," Astra called, a random memory popping up in her head. She grinned as she turned the page of the newspaper, knowing that Gary probably kept that doll with the rest of his junk in his igloo.

"Yeah?" he asked, finishing his invention. He pushed a button, but nothing happened. Frowning, Gary slid on his back underneath the base of the large object, tinkering with the wires and whatnot. Just then, Rookie walked in with a plate of chocolate chip cookies and milk, waving to no one in particular as he sat down to eat his snack.

"Remember that doll with the orange hair you brought to the HQ seven years ago?" Astra questioned, trying to remember exactly what it looked like. "The peach-colored penguin with the orange pigtails and the weird bonnet thing?"

"I know it!" Rookie called, spewing cookie crumbs on PH. The tinkering underneath the machine ceased as Gary tried to remember the toy Astra was describing. "Oh, yes, that one. I still have it in a storage box in my igloo somewhere. Why? Do you need it?"

Astra snorted. "I don't need a doll. Anyways, remember the tea set Aunt Arctic got Rookie that same year? The one that was missing five plates in a week because he dropped them all."

"Erm, yes," Gary replied, pausing his work under the machine again. Astra could only imagine the confused look on his face right now. "Why is that significant?"

"Well, Rookie made me play tea party with him when I was on prohibition, but the problem was the lack of tea," Astra answered, folding up the newspaper and grabbing a book to read instead. "You told us to watch the doll because your Puffle was trying to eat it, and then I had an idea. The doll's hair was orange, and orange-colored tea is made from tea leaves, so I cut off strands of the doll's hair and used the pieces as tea leaves."

_"What?"_ Gary exclaimed, a bump coming from the machine. "You did _what?"_

"I cut the doll's hair and pretended the bits were tea leaves to make the game more realistic," Astra repeated, fingering a page of the book. "Don't worry, Rookie could only find safety scissors, so it took us a while to cut the hair. In my defense, the doll had split ends that needed to be trimmed anyway."

"Yeah!" Rookie contributed, gulping down some milk. "What are split ends?"


End file.
